In a way I'm not. My resume says I work as a freelance consultant which takes in political consulting and personal training, but that is a bit of camouflage to explain the fact that I am taking some time off. I've not actually worked in politics for over six months.
At first I needed some time away from everything given that I was on the cusp of regular panic attacks at work, but since October I have been of the opinion that while I'm not "better" I might as well be employed.
There have been plenty of public service jobs out there that I could do in my sleep, but after repeated inquiries and interviews, there have been no results. It's generally a matter of "your background is too partisan" or "you don't have any public service experience" or more recently "you don't have a security clearance." This has been bothering me more and more, and at the gym earlier this week I think I figured out why.
When I get rejected from a job, I hear the public service say "Begone Luckycanuck! You aren't good enough to work here!" This offends my sense of dignity.
I've recently increased the intensity with which I've been looking for work, and as one agency informed me earlier this week, I'm doing everything I should be doing. Still, nothing. That sense of frustration is building up to the point that I find it difficult to imagine that anyone anyone in the public service will hire me to any job under any circumstances. I know other people who have very similar background to me and who have been looking for far less time with far greater success. The fact that I hear the same thing again and again and again without anyone who deals with HR in this town being able to explain why makes me feel like there is some kind of elaborate and ridiculous conspiracy preventing anyone called Luckycanuck from being employed in the APS. (One HR type told me about a guy who was a CEO in the private sector and who gave up trying to work in the APS after five years of his experience being rejected as unsuitable.)
In the meantime, I will continue giving training sessions and I will have a regular trivia night to host starting next month.
Lucky for me I have my investments which have been doing exceptionally well in February. I'm getting better at selling and keeping myself cashed up in the current climate which means money on hand for living expenses and to take advantage of buying opportunities. Still, it does require a mental shift to not have a regular income that I have not finished making.