luckycanuck: (convicts rugby)
[personal profile] luckycanuck
I came up to Sydney on Thursday, and had a couple of days with my parents before taking them to the airport on Saturday morning.  Mum and I went shopping and she suggested that for Christmas I bring the girls to the Sydney Koala Park when they come out to visit in July.  Done.  I was going to struggle to come up with anything.  We also had a chat about depression, which she got to see up close on Friday night as we had dinner with the guy who looks after the administrative aspect of the Collaroy Castle and his girlfriend.  Me at dinner with four people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s instead of at the gym where I had planned to be.  With all the frustration and alienation I was pretty shut down and fatigued all night, and almost struggled for breath like I did at work last winter at one point.  When we got home she asked if I was ok, and I said "this is what depression is like."  I don't think she understood until then, and I suspect she probably still doesn't.  She's trying though.

On Saturday I took Minou back to her place on my way to Canberra and stopped in to visit Dora in her post Mr Burns phase.  Back in Canberra at the party I was there to attend, Nerva Chu helped me shave my head.  I know I normally have very short hair, but on Saturday night I shaved it all off in solidarity with JAQ who has lost all her hair during chemotherapy.

I think we make a pretty good team.

I just need to figure out what to do with my temporary new look.

The next morning it was back up to Sydney (I've been driving a lot) to attend Fair Day with the Convicts.  We won the tug of war again this year as usual, but I spent more time taking photos of my teammates to send to JAQ.

I'm very pleased with how they came out, and JAQ was very impressed.  Basically, she's an honorary Convict.

Later I visited Klydemestra after dinner.  It was a stressful evening, in large part because I was in an unfamiliar environment with her friends.  I wasn't up to socialising with them (or I didn't like a lot of them) and a lot of the evening was taken up with them talking to her so I didn't get to.  There will likely be more alone time before too long though.

Today I was back in the gym (I had a bit of a pull on my left quad that I wanted to recover fully) and did a "fired up" workout.

5 rounds - row 400m, 15 kettlebell swings 28kg, 10 burpees, 10 pullups, run 400m.

Tomorrow I head back to Canberra so I can lead a training session at Parliament, and on the way I plan to stop to pick up a 20kg weight vest and to visit Minou again.

Date: 2012-02-13 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Those pictures you took for JAQ are awesome!

Depression is something that takes a lot of time for people to even muster a slight understanding of. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that people don't want to see it (in my experience, yours may vary).

My family (all except my sister) never really managed to grasp what was happening to me or why, even after all these years. Now I just don't talk to my family about it. Only my husband knows about the times when my depression hits the hardest and while he still doesn't get it completely, he does at least try to understand.

Date: 2012-02-13 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The pics went down very well. It was worth driving back to Sydney to take them.

Depression was a pretty opaque concept to me for a long time, and to a degree it still is. I still can't explain it to myself, and someone who only sees me once or twice a year is going to struggle with understanding it. Many of my friends here have a much better handle on it, simply because they are around it on a regular basis.

Date: 2012-02-13 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You totally rock the shaved noggin. And the gesture of solidarity is awesome. It definitely has a positive impact.

Date: 2012-02-14 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
JAQ really appreciated it.

Now my scalp is the texture of fine sandpaper.

Date: 2012-02-14 07:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
For a long, long time I couldn't talk about depression at all with my folks. I think they recognise a bad period now and seek to help in a tacit kind of way, but it took time to get to that point.

Great work on the shaved head and the photos. Pure awesomeness.

Date: 2012-02-15 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can scarcely explain it to myself, and with the distance, my parents are more and more like strangers. I have a far easier time explaining it to you.

The photos were a very happy inducing recent development, however.


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