Indulgence Day

[luckycanuck]

I looked briefly at the property I was going to inspect today an hour before the inspection before deciding not to bother waiting.  I didn't want to live there after one look at it and my thoughts of yesterday confirmed for me that I'm not in a position to buy or to want to buy.

I was going to drop my car off at the office (walking to work is becoming a habit) when I made an abrupt turn to stop at the Canberra Synagogue on account of it being the Jewish food fair and open day.  They were unfortunately out of falafel, but latkes were there to be had, and I picked up a challah (for the non judeophiles that is a braided bread eaten on the sabbath and on festival days.)  Challah contains eggs and is slightly sweet (it was compared to the French brioche by the woman who made it) so on two grounds it contains things I have given up for Lent.  (Eggs qualify as meat under my Lent definitions.)  However, Sundays are not actually fasting days during Lent.  I generally maintain my fasting all the way through, including Sundays, but this felt like the right call.  A one off chance to participate in some way in the customs of another religion, done.

I generally enjoy Lent and the sacrifices that go along with it.  Having no alcohol, sweets, meat, or caffeine is pretty easy to get used to, though people tend to be amazed that I can make it.  It did lead me to wonder if I'm giving up the wrong things though.

Indulging in a bit of challah is nothing problematic.  But part of me has been drinking up plaudits from people I meet about the fact that I'm not indulging.  Yesterday more than one person was in awe of me giving up meat or alcohol or caffeine.  They seem to be deeply impressed by my self discipline, and my pride swells a bit when I hear it.

Earlier on in Lent I participated in Mardi Gras Fair Day and the parade, which are also some of the more indulgent spectacles available to me.  Whether sitting in at the dunk tank before a gawking crowd or walking down Oxford St to rapturous applause and being grabbed at by people in the crowd (some of whom were calling on me to remove articles of clothing) I must confess I enjoyed being an attention whore.

Which brings me to the subject of yesterday's post.  Vanity.  There is no point in disguising it.  I like to be admired.  Perhaps this is why I am so quick to tell people about the things I have given up for Lent.  Perhaps this is part of the reason I go to the gym as much as I do.  Yes it is centring and I like the endorphin rush, but I also want to look good with my shirt off.

There is a reason that vanity (as a part of pride) is one of the seven deadly sins.  It calls us to make ourselves the centre of the universe.  It is, as many theologians have said, the sin that turned Lucifer from being an anointed cherub of God into the Devil.

There were plenty of times in the parade where I wasn't supporting my rugby club as much as I was seeking the admiration of total strangers, and broadcasting to the world "Hey!  Look at me and marvel about how good looking I am!"  There are times when announcing what I'm giving up for Lent isn't aimed at inspiring others as much as it is broadcasting my own piety.  (For that matter, I wonder if blogging about being vain is, in itself, vain.)

Will giving up things as a spiritual discipline lead me to be a better person?  Perhaps.  But un-learning some of my pride and re-learning some humility certainly would.

And to close this theological rant with a quote from my foray into Judaism this afternoon:

"Charity may not save us, but it makes us worth saving." - Professor Reuven Kimelman

TW: 100 shoulder presses, 100 chest presses, 50 handstand pushups, 50 weighted dips (and then a nice sweat in the sauna before heading off for dinner.)

Dinner and a nice chat was had with Cupcake Goddess about work and housing and family and relationships, and it continued after I we left the club (CG apparently hasn't discovered Canberra's pubs yet) and made it back to Chez Canuck for tea and challah.

Tomorrow I walk to work again, for the first day of the last big sitting week for a while.