luckycanuck (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
luckycanuck) wrote2012-02-29 02:33 pm
luckycanuck) wrote2012-02-29 02:33 pm
I could do this job again
So here goes with Dreamwidth. Lets see how it work.
My Monday training session went well. I introduced five girls to Tabata, and one of them nearly spewed. Nearly I said. All of them will be back.
I am getting into training, and I feel like I am doing better at it than I did at politics. Still, there is this sense in my head that it's not a real job. I've been struggling with unloading old assumptions about how my life would turn out on a professional and a personal level. It's slow going. I spent so many years working to a script that it's hard to walk away from it. I feel like the disconnect between the script and reality is stoking the gloom, and it's not easy to just ignore the assumptions that were present for so long.
Last night there was a function at Parliament for a former employer who is leaving, and I felt in my element again. I like being there and felt like I could do a job in that area again. Of course, last winter I was having panic attacks at work.
In the meantime the public service "conspiracy" against hiring me continues. Fine. I managed to sell some options in VMG today for a 40% profit in two weeks (and the ones I held on to are still going up) so I am still sufficiently cashed up to live and to take advantage of potential bargains like AKK. I am also planning a possible exit from BBG if another takeover offer comes around, which is looking like a distinct possibility. I'm getting better at selling. Not having a regular salary will do that.
I'm making an effort not to take over the common areas of the house. I think it has been imposing on the others who live here and I don't want to do that. I think a better environment currently exists.
Finally, I will have a regular weekly trivia night at the Charlie Black Bar in Manuka starting on 19 March. It looks like a pretty upmarket venue, and it looks like I may have a lot of friends around for my first night.
My Monday training session went well. I introduced five girls to Tabata, and one of them nearly spewed. Nearly I said. All of them will be back.
I am getting into training, and I feel like I am doing better at it than I did at politics. Still, there is this sense in my head that it's not a real job. I've been struggling with unloading old assumptions about how my life would turn out on a professional and a personal level. It's slow going. I spent so many years working to a script that it's hard to walk away from it. I feel like the disconnect between the script and reality is stoking the gloom, and it's not easy to just ignore the assumptions that were present for so long.
Last night there was a function at Parliament for a former employer who is leaving, and I felt in my element again. I like being there and felt like I could do a job in that area again. Of course, last winter I was having panic attacks at work.
In the meantime the public service "conspiracy" against hiring me continues. Fine. I managed to sell some options in VMG today for a 40% profit in two weeks (and the ones I held on to are still going up) so I am still sufficiently cashed up to live and to take advantage of potential bargains like AKK. I am also planning a possible exit from BBG if another takeover offer comes around, which is looking like a distinct possibility. I'm getting better at selling. Not having a regular salary will do that.
I'm making an effort not to take over the common areas of the house. I think it has been imposing on the others who live here and I don't want to do that. I think a better environment currently exists.
Finally, I will have a regular weekly trivia night at the Charlie Black Bar in Manuka starting on 19 March. It looks like a pretty upmarket venue, and it looks like I may have a lot of friends around for my first night.