luckycanuck

I thought I had seen some odd letters from fringe types, but today two came in that blew everyone else away.

One was a one page letter that was basically a series of seemingly random phrases linked by nothing remotely coherent. How many people can write about “sodomising converted paedophile bulls” and “decaying septic tanks” in the same paragraph. Answer? Only one apparently.

But this was eclipsed in the annals of paranoia and weirdness by a letter which began

“Upon!... All Of You!... the Endless Calls Enlarge for you to assist in every way to Stop This Crime because there is a large number of Public Trust People that will not come to terms with the serious society serving reality and requirement that this true and vast Horrid Crime History must be brought to Natural Human Rights Justice which is in the Intense Human Interest of all Fellow Humans!”

And so on for 19 pages.

Basically he is demanding $10 billion in compensation as all of his “multi million dollar properties & multi billion dollar potentials including records and possessions and clothing also valued in millions of dollars remain totally unaccounted for.” Naturally, The Evil Gvt Elite and Mafia Gvt Mania are hunting him with Mad Hit Men because he has “re-estalished the Total Titan Truth.” (This guy seems to like alliteration and refers to the Correct Conduct Citadel and Excellent Energetic Enterprise. Also, he constantly refers to himself in the third person.) Telstra nearly murdered him with a mobile phone. Bloody Telstra! I knew those mobile phones were trouble. Lucky I’m with Optus.

A number of Swiss banks had something to do with this, and he has corresponded with the Swiss Embassy, which politely asked him to bugger off and not pester them with his paranoid rants, but this kind of treatment just moves him to denounce them watching and waiting with “satanic silence” for his impending murder.

In the end, as he points out, $10 billion has been invested in the Hadron Collider, so it’s only fair that $10 billion must now be invested with him “to challenge and conquer so much madness in miseries and this would please Albert Einstein.”

Someone in our office responded to this guy last month. Mistake. This needs to be shut down.

Ok. Rant over.

We lost at trivia tonight. Well, we came in fourth, which is very bad for us. This time knowing the capital of Cambodia and the Australian state with the shortest coastline wasn't enough.

TW: Medicine Balls - 50 medicine ball crunch throws, 50 medicine ball stomach drops, 50 high throws against the wall, 50 high presses against the wall, 50 side throws left and 50 right, 100 seated side to side twists.