luckycanuck

It's just not a break from anything in particular.  And I'm still tired.

I've been up in Collaroy since Tuesday.  It's finally warm here and it will get lighter and lighter.  There is no particular impact on my mood though.  I'm still getting a bit wistful with all this time on my hands. The beach (with very cold water) and the gym have been nice though, and I had my first encounter with Skype with an hour long conversation with MCat yesterday.

I went to another agency on Monday and they are putting me up for three EL1 jobs (public service talk still confuses me.)  I've got an interview for an APS6/EL1 media advisor job in the Department of Health next Monday.  I'm still not feeling great, but I think it's time to get back to work.  Having time on my hands doesn't seem to be improving my outlook.

TuesW: AMRAP 20 minutes - row 20 calories, 10 half clean and press, 20 marine pushups. Finisher - 5 rounds - 20 situps, burpees for remainder of 90 seconds, rest 30 seconds. That was a great finisher.

YW: 30 pushups/minute for 40 minutes = 1,200 pushups.

TW: Run to Dee Why, AMRAP 10 minutes - 8 17.5kg dumbbell hang cleans, 8 db shoulder press. 10 rounds - 10 20kg dumbbell pushups, 10 pullups. 50 heavy dumbbell bicep curls (up to 30kg.)

I was thinking the other day of taking up personal training.  I don't think I would do it as a full time job.  I don't think I would like all that goes along with that, but if I had a separate job and trained freelance, I would be able to only take on people who would take the work seriously.

It was a pretty good weekend, but when I got home I really felt like I was crashing.

I made it to rugby early and was really switched on by kickoff.  As I waited on the sidelines I picked up a ball that was at my feet and repeatedly bashed it against my forehead.  My war face was on and a supporter shouted at me to "get angry."   We were playing a team we came up against a few weeks ago and lost a close fought game while being frequently penalised and having a total of three guys sin binned.

This time I was put on in the second half to replace a guy who was exhausted from hitting rucks and making tackles.  Two minutes later he had to come back on as one of the other back rowers hurt his ankle.  The scores were level at 10 when they got the ball out of a ruck and passed it back to their fly half who wound up for a kick.  I was quick enough off the mark to get there just in time to block it with my face.  It bounced forward and I was in hot pursuit.  One of our backs got to it first but wasn't able to pick it up so he kicked it forward to chase it over the try line.  Unfortunately he put just a little too much on it.  With a really lucky bounce or with a few more metres of in goal we would have had a try.

They wound up deep in our end but we managed to get the ball back and one ruck turned into a bit of a shoving match before my opposite number punched one of our guys from behind and got a yellow card.  He was lucky it wasn't a red.  With twelve minutes left they wouljd be a man down for all but the last two minutes.

We kicked it deep, won the resulting lineout, and held on to the ball for several phases.  It was a real team effort.  Everyone had a hand in keeping the play alive.  There were plenty of offloads including one that came to me to run forward about three or four more metres before  getting tackled and getting a knee in the face and a mouthful of dirt.  On the next phase we got nearly to the line and with one more push, by the time I got to my feet we were over.

Then we managed to hold off a late charge and kept them pinned back in their own half.  Final score, Convicts 17 Brothers 10.  We sang the Convicts Victory Song louder than I have ever heard.  THOOOOOOOOOOOSE MAAAAAAAAAAAGNIFICENT MENT FROM THE CONVICTS ARE HERE!

I wasn't going to come to Sydney next weekend as I have plans on Saturday, but now that we are into the next round and after the high of Saturday I will have to see how I can rearrange things.

Then I got cleaned up enough to pick up Minxyminou who was coming up to stay at the Collaroy Castle, a place with which she is very enamoured.  We went out to a Mexican place in the next suburb that she was quite keen to try.  The portions weren't huge but the quality was excellent.

I made lots of tea and put together a pretty good breakfast in the morning and the two of us went down to the beach, though only I went in.  Minou looked very odd standing on the beach dressed all in black with a bikini clad girl getting a tan on one side of her and a guy setting up his surfboard on her other side.  Very unsurfie.

It was a great weekend in a lot of ways, but by the time I got back home I was really coming down.  There was a lot to come down from.

I guess I will have a few things to talk about when I go back to the psychologist tomorrow morning.  I've not actually been properly sad for a long time (if you don't count last night's gloom), and I've had a lot ot be happy about, but my feelings of being detached are still as strong as ever.

I wound up not playing rugby this weekend, given a combination of a still sore ankle and a fair amount of fatigue.  Instead I spent most of Saturday in bed at the Collaroy Castle before heading into town for the Convicts show.

Apparently in the game against Macquarie Uni one of the opposing players called our guys "a bunch of faggots."  The guys have reacted on Facebook in the following ways:
Go figure u got beaten by faggots!
The one who called us faggots was like, totes ugly. It didnt offend me one bit, we hit em where it hurt!
I think if anything it spurred us on a bit, I like Rowe's comment after we scored that last try "who's the fags now £@&$!!! "

The show went well.  I was sexually harassed less than at any other Rugger Bugger, probably on account of the fact that we didn't go into all of the bars of Oxford Street selling tickets.  The theme was Australian anthems and the song used in the finale was "Working Class Man" by Jimmy Barnes.  You know, for all those gay bogans out there.


I had a nice swim in surprisingly warm water and surprisingly large waves the following morning.  The waves were big enough that they actually caused me some concern.  When you get lifted up so high there is always in the back of your mind the fear that you might get dumped hard enough to cause damage.

I visited Minou yesterday on the way back to The Berra.  We talked about a number of things, including a slightly unsettling discovery.  I was in the shower yesterday and I found a lump.  Yes, a lump, roughly where you are thinking.

It's not on the ball itself.  It's sort of off to the side but it's certainly there.  Minou's assessment was that it was probably an ingrown hair.  That would add up.  Still, neither of us are doctors and I would rather not mess around with this.  I'll probably combine this visit with a visit to talk about depression.  Multitasking!  I think I'll go in later this week.

This reminded me of something that's been crossing my mind recently, or since I've been dealing with being depressed.  I've been thinking about dying.  Not let me be clear.  I've NOT been thinking about suicide.  I wouldn't do that.  But I have been daydreaming about having a terminal and incurable disease and about how I would spend my last six months.  The doctor tells me not to do anything strenuous, and of course I go out and play rugby at least one more time and I keep doing my full on gym sessions, because really, am I going to just stop pushing myself physically when pushing myself physically is one of the few things I feel like I do well?  So yesterday I contemplated what would happen if that lump was the worst possible option.

Oh yes, and apparently someone came out to fix the lines and now the internet works at home.  Hooray!

All in all, somehow it was actually a pretty good weekend.  Strange.

I've been up in Sydney a lot recently.  I like Sydney and I like staying at the Collaroy Castle, but it does mean a lot of time spent in the car.  Next weekend it will be good to have a whole weekend without having to make any long trips.

A lot of the recent Sydney visits have also involved family, which means much less space and independence for me.  My parents are now back in Canada, and tomorrow my cousin and her husband and three kids arrive from Sweden to visit for a while.  My uncle will join them later.

Last weekend, however, I had the place to myself to walk around naked in.  Hooray!  Saturday was a quiet day that involved eating the leftovers that mum left for me, and visiting the beach where there were some very sizable waves that tossed me around plenty.  Little else was done and that was fine by me.

On Sunday I had my first Convict event of the year.  Fair Day was good again.  We won the tug of war by beating the hockey team, the dykes on bikes, and the swim team to become Mardi Gras tug of war champions for the third year running.  It's much easier when I am the smallest guy of the six at 90kg.  Our team was entirely made up of forwards.  Tommy, Aki, Steve, Gump, Jumbo, and myself all know what a scrum looks like from the inside.  I am a bit sore in the legs today.  The 12 hour race is still affecting me I suspect.

I also did a shift on the dunk tank which was a relief on such a hot day.  All this and I only got a bit of sunburn.

Afterewards Minou had me over for dinner and to give the dogs a workout.

Parliament sits for the next two weeks which might make work easier/interesting.

Also, I have booked leave and tickets to go back to North America in April.  Much of it will involve going back to place I was at recently, but it will also mean going to Ottawa for the first time in a long time and getting acquainted with Canadian politics again.  I think this might be coming just in time.  It turns out I'm using about three weeks of the nearly eleven I have saved up.

I'm not sure what to do about Lent this year.  Last year I gave up alcohol, sweets, meat, and caffeine.  This year, however, I will be travelling for the second half of Lent.  If I'm in a bar in Montreal I may wish to sample the local beers so that means I may not be able to seriously give up the grog.  In fact, living a simpler life seems inherently incompatible with being on holiday, even when you generally have simple tastes as I do.  International travel seems inherently showy.  I'd like to give up something, but I can't seem to think of anything.  (Lent is part of the lead up to one of the most important part of the religious year for me and generally I enjoy it and the sacrifices that go along with it, but I don't seem to feel excited about it this year.)  Perhaps I could take something on.

I went out for a run this morning, intending to stop at the gym on my way to Manly for a total of about 28km.  It was hot enough and the sun was very strong, so I decided that risking sunburn and heatstroke in 30+ degrees (90F) wasn't a good idea.  I had a decent workout and filled up my water bottles for the run home, going the long way around via the plateau for a total of about 15km.  I felt quite exhausted by the end and I still feel worn out now.

Afterwards I had a swim at the beach.  The tide was very low but there were a few good sized waves, some of which could be bodysurfed.  It was wonderfully warm.  Like getting into a big salty bath.

While I was at the gym, I saw a very unsettling tattoo.  Now I know many people (like minxyminou) are big fans of tattoos, and have advised me on what would look good on me if I was ever to get one.  I can honestly say that with the tattoo I saw on a guy at the gym, I wouldn't have needed any advice that it was a horrible tattoo.

Guess what it was.  Go on, guess.  I'll wait.

Want to know what it was?  It wasn't just embarassing like someone who has no appreciation of asian culture getting a Chinese tattoo that they think means "peace" but actually means "my mother is a diseased whore."  It also wasn't merely self-congratulatory or egomaniacal or lame song lyrics.

( Click here for the answer )

If only I could have come up with something devastatingly clever when he asked if I was done with some weights.

 

( Cut for a few dirty pics )

 

Off to view two places today and to apply for at least one, then to see two more places as a fall back position in case we don’t all find a place together.

No bad news all weekend.  Hooray again!

During my time at the backpackers, I befriended an American girl staying there, and she came by the office (which is in the same building as the backpackers) on Friday evening when we were planning what we had to do next week to ask if I wanted to get dinner.  After she left the guys gave me a knowing look, not aware that Mandy was married.  I had probably the best chicken parmagiana (a staple of Australian pubs) I had ever had.  Man it was good.

Saturday was spent doorknocking and preparing announcements for the coming week, including making some calculations which may turn out to be very useful in cutting through to explain why one particular government policy is a bad idea.

Back at the hotel, my workout for the day was to do 10 pushups for every point the Wallabies scored.  They started well, then played very badly, allowing a try when NZ were a man down, and they generall lacked any intensity or even interest.  It wasn't until they had a man sent off (an entirely justified call by the ref given that he had explicitly warned both teams when the Wallabies had complained about delaying the game by throwing the ball away at penalties, and then one of the Wallabies did just that to get his second yellow card.)  It's odd, but they played better with 14 than they did with 15.  They even gave me cause to do more celebratory pushups, and brought my total to 280.

This morning I slept in (in relative terms) and had a bit of a run and a workout before going into the office.  I also had my August swim, meaning that I have been for a swim in the open ocean every month since August 2005.  Five years straight.

TW: Run to Lambert's Lookout, up and down twice, then 10 pushups in the surf, sprint up to the playground, 10 pullups - 10 rounds.  And I got a lot of funny looks from locals and a boy who asked me "Excuse me, what are you doing?"  A seven year old girl even started doing pullups of her own, assisted by her mum.

Today some admin details were taken care of, then candidate and I went off to the local rugby league fixture.  Plenty of people were there, and after the home team had lost the announcer informed the crowd that the karaoke sing off and pole dancing competition between Candidate and his Labor counterpart (who apparently is nicknamed "Moscow" on account of his leftist orientation) had been cancelled.  We had a good laugh.

This morning I read an article about Kevin Rudd in which someone speculated that he might have asperger's syndrome.  The article wasn't about that, but about his habits, his focus, his lack of social awareness, and his self-centredness, much of which contributed to his downfall.  Reading that, I realised that I share some habits with the former PM.  Struggling at times with perfectly normal social situations, acting in ways that people see as awkward, a tendency "to read aloud interesting titbits that he found on Wikipedia" and others.  I don't share his incandescent rage or his lust for power, but I wonder if he was Australia's first aspie PM.  (Of course, being an aspie doesn't make you a good person.  I find plenty of aspies to be rather unpleasant company.)

I did go to the beach this morning and I did go in the water, but it wasnt easy. As soon as you got into the surf the sand ended and pebbles began so it was tough on the feet. I may have to pick up some cheap sandals if I'm going to do it again.

I also discovered that I can do a pretty good workout doing circuit training, using the equipment at the local playground to do pullups, using the local picnic tables to do bench jumps and doing pushups in the surf and so on. There should be plenty of crossfitesque ways to keep myself from getting bored.

I wrote a media release, applied my demographic work to save the campaign a few thousand dollars and re-jigged the direct mail program, and closed out the day by spending about an hour standing on the side of the road holding a campaign sign and waving at traffic. We got more waves than fingers, which is a good sign, but a lot of people are just polite and will wave at you if you wave at them. It doesn't mean they are voting for you.

Waving at rush hour traffic is a pretty standard campaign tactic and I think it is a pretty easy way to raise your visibility. (One campaign I worked on a while back hired half a dozen backpackers to don t-shirts and support the cause at the morning rush hour.) A lot of people will wave back, some will give you a thumbs up, some will shout support. Of course, some will also give you the finger (it's hard to tell if they are being hostile to you and your candidate or whether they are just hostile in general) and others will yell abuse at you.

One man yelled out the window as he passed "tell that fat bastard to lose some weight" (our candidate is not the slimmest of politicians) and another yelled at me to "get a real job" and then speculated about the kind of people I enjoy having sex with.

A car full of girls whilstled as they drove past, though whether that was at me or at the photo of the candidate or just a general whistle was not clear.

Also, there has been a lot of scorn poured on the Prime Minister's proposal that there should be a citizen's assembly to discuss climate change.  Twitter has lit up with people decrying the proposal as "the biggest load of shit i've ever heard" and pointing out that we already have a citizens assembly.  We just normally call it Parliament.  For a party that is being criticised as being all talk and no action, proposing the creation of a new body to talk about issues was a pretty glaring error.

There was a swim in some cold an choppy water yesterday, and two kids on the beach who were moved to ask "what happened to your eye?"  A black eye had developed overnight and I wound up looking worse.

Getting away from Collaroy is a bit difficult at times but I managed to get away around noon before making it to a market in Marrickville where I met with Mitzi and picked up some chocolate beetroot cupcakes (that were not quite as good as they had been built up to be.)

I managed a recovery workout in Minou's neighbourhood.

YW: 20 dumbbell swings, 1 pushup... 1 dumbbell swing, 20 pushups.

The cupcakes were consumed at Minou's place, and they gave me the energy to wrestle with Dora (Mr Burns wasn't quite so keen to engage, or to be photographed.)



Apparently there will be a house dinner later this week, in which each of us will be responsible for one course.  Do TimTams count a a course?

This morning I was up early and went to All Bar Nun which has become the unofficial Holland World Cup HQ in Canberra.  I didn't have anything orange to wear but it didn't matter.  Spain was the better side, even though their one goal came just after what should have been an offside call and a goal kick that should have been a corner kick after the ball went out off a Spanish player.

How long will I last at work today?