Down for a couple of days

[luckycanuck]

It was never going to be a good time for us to have to pick up and leave.  I guess things could be a lot worse.  We are four people all of whom are employed and responsible and we have pretty good references from our current agent.  We have applied for one place and inspected another today, and there are further inspections on the weekend and next week.  There  is still plenty of time and plenty of opportunity for things to go right.

 

But there is also a lot of unknown.  I seem to have pretty good luck with finding places to live, but pretty bad luck in staying in them for the long term.  I am happy in this house, and even happier with the people I live with.  But I may not be living with them for much longer, and there is virtually nothing I can do about it.  Yesterday we put up a Christmas tree, knowing that we may not be around by Christmas.


It was either bittersweet or kind of depressing depending on how I feel at any given moment.

Our preference is to find a place similar to this and for all four of us to move together.  That would be ideal.  But it may not be practical.  This weekend I will be in Sydney for the Mud Run and to get in touch with people I haven't seen since my pre-America days.  In the meantime, Helga and Alleluia will be going to inspections and applying for properties on my behalf.  They will also be looking at three bedroom houses. There are a lot more of them, and if they find one it is quite likely that I wouldn't be one of the three moving in.

This is different from the last time I had to move.  That time it was hard not to take things personally when I was the only one who had to move and everyone else got to stay.  I know it's not personal this time, but in my weaker moments I feel almost as though I could be lifted right out of this household and replaced without anyone really noticing or feeling sad.

I really value living with the people I live with and I will do what I have to do to maintain until such time as my own circumstances move me on.  I always knew this wouldn't be permanent, but I hoped we all might be able to split up on our own terms rather than on the terms laid out by people we have never met who are moving back from overseas.

I know the people I live with care about me.  They decorated my room when I was away for the election, they are uniformly considerate and friendly, and they generally find my endearing quirks to be endearing quirks rather than annoying habits.  Yesterday I made custard from scratch when Cupcake Goddess came over so we would have something to go with our Christmas pudding.



Everyone was really impressed.  Last night just as we went to bed Helga noticed I was feeling down and came to talk to me for a while.  I've generally lived with pretty good people, but the incidence of these happy memories seem to be concentrated disproportionately in the last six months when I have been in the current Chez Canuck.

So it is quite likely that I will shortly be moving to a place with entirely random people who are perfectly pleasant, but who don't decorate my room or take care of me or include me in an environment as welcoming and warm as the people I currently live with.  I feel as though I am in housemate heaven, and that I may soon find myself, not in housemate hell, but perhaps in housemate purgatory.

I did get to the gym today, running there in the rain, doing some kettlebell swings and some toes to bar, and a whole bunch of rowing (over 8km and 500 calories) before running home in a driving rain.  As I ran up our street the rain was at it's most intense, and I stopped, soaked through to the skin, to do pushups.  I did more on our front lawn when I found out I was locked out of the house after leaving my keys inside.  I did get back in but for a few moments, standing on my front lawn in short and singlet in a driving rain, completely soaked and completely alone, I felt just fine.

I deal with stress and unhappiness in odd ways.

Comments

[minxyminou.livejournal.com]

Fingers crossed that you can all move together.

I always hate any upheaval when it comes to my home situation so I can relate.

[displacedtexan.livejournal.com]

Well, this is a sad thing to read first off in the morning. My heart is heavy for you, and I'm hoping things work out well. Here's hoping for housemate heaven, but if not that then for housemate equanimity.

[yurusumaji.livejournal.com]

Sending hugs and perhaps a tasty dessert.

I hope you can keep your current housemates.