Leaving the family

[luckycanuck]

I leave early tomorrow morning for my next port of call which means leaving the family.  I never seem to have any problem doing this.  In fact, I tend to get all stir crazy when I am around them.

This time I visited the family very early on in the trip.  The last time I was here this was the last place on the itinerary.  The previous time, I spent three weeks here and went nowhere else.  It seems that the amount of time I spend with my family goes down every time.  Now I have a whole bunch of places and people to look forward to without living in the house I grew up in and feeling less like a grown man.

The other day my mum asked me what I was going to do that day and I immediately bristled a bit because she was intruding on my space.  The same thing happens when they visit me.

While I've been having my career angst I have thought about the prospect of coming back to Canada for work purposes.  That's most of the reason I'm going to Ottawa tomorrow.  But at the moment the idea of coming back for family reasons is pretty distant.  My father did the same thing.  He left Australia in the early 70s and has never gone back.  If one of my parents became terminally ill over a long period of time, would I return to Canada?  Honestly, I don't think so.  A bit of me feels like an awful son when I think that.

Comments

You are not a horrible son

[jaqisthename.livejournal.com]

Family is really difficult. I know you had a great child hood and are on good terms with your fam, but there is just something about family I find (especially mothers) that can strip us of our adulthood. Make us feel a little less free. We all have to make our decisions in life and you are not obligated to live for anyone else but yourself.

I will say this though : I fully support lucky canuck coming back to Canada!! And I say that with not a speck of selfishness ;)

Re: You are not a horrible son

[luckycanuck.livejournal.com]

There is a reason I live so far away. I am reminded of it every time I am around the family. I was always going to have to leave, no matter where I grew up. If I grew up in Austalia, I would probably be living in Canada.

Re: You are not a horrible son

[jaqisthename.livejournal.com]

Oh trust me...I understand moving far away to get away from the fam! And living with them again has reminded me why I put a whole country in between us in the first place.

[contaminatedsun.livejournal.com]

"A son's a son till he takes a wife; a daughter's a daughter for all of her life"

In your case, maybe "till he gets a job." You're independent; they should be proud of that. And everyone gets their buttons pushed by their parents because after all, who installed 'em?

[luckycanuck.livejournal.com]

Till he gets a job and citizenship overseas is more like it.

[yurusumaji.livejournal.com]

It can definitely be stressful when a mom is in your business, even after you've grown and gained your independence. She was probably just trying to make conversation and to be included in your life, so maybe next time just change the subject and ask what she's doing.

Enjoy the rest of your trip.

[luckycanuck.livejournal.com]

The thing is, if I asked her she would tell me about all the things that are happening with friends of hers that I don't know.

I don't mind talking with mum on principle, but not generally when I'm in the midst of something.