Pulling up the drawbridge?
Feb. 14th, 2010 10:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I did spray my hair red (or to be more accurate, a friend did the actual spraying) and went off last night with aggressively red hair.
By the end of the evening it had smudged a bit and I looked as though I had clumsiy failed to apply suncreen to my face evenly. I don't think this will be a regular look. I can't really walk into the office looking like this.
My night out was not what I had hoped. Two of my friends whom I've not seen for a while were very late in arriving and it was difficult to settle down. There were a lot of people there who were new, and others whom I had met before but just never developed any interest in talking to. And then there was one other whom I have found myself speaking to now and then over the past little while, but whom for some reason I have become uncomfortable around. There is no particular reason, no finding of fault, and no way of easily explaining why, but the easy and free conversations that I enjoy with others had suddenly become taxing. On just about every occasion that we spoke, I got angsty and on more than one occasion went into "screen saver" mode and found myself gently aspie rocking back and forth.
This was a friend, but dealing with them had somehow become too much. Taking an interest in others is something I have had less and less patience for recently. It's true at work (Oh, you have some petty grievance? Well it's nothing to do with me so fix it yourself!) and it's true amongst many of my friends. There are those who are already in my inner circle, but when it comes to dealing with others I wondered if I was pulling up the proverbial drawbridge. Some are already in the fortress, and for now maybe it's enough.
And if the analogy holds, then maybe you could say there is someone who fell off the drawbridge as it was coming up and is now in the moat around Fortress Luckycanuck. I do regret saying "I feel quite uncomfortable around you" but I managed to explain my fatigue without unduly hurt feelings.
TW: 20 bicep curls, 1 bench press ... 1 bicep curl, 20 bench presses. A total of 210 of each, which is more bench presses than I have ever done in one session. Trust me to seek redemption from stress in the physical. I was going to go for a run in the rain but wound up feeling quite tired. Although if it had kept raining, I probably would have gone up Mount Ainslie. Sometimes I like to take on something trying simply because it's trying.
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Date: 2010-02-14 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-14 09:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-14 09:01 pm (UTC)2. I'm sorry the party didn't go well. But pulling up the drawbridge is not necessarily a bad thing (social graces notwithstanding); in my experience, it's a sign that self-protection of some kind is in order.
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Date: 2010-02-14 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-15 02:52 am (UTC)where is the rest of you?
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Date: 2010-02-15 06:28 am (UTC)There are other pics of me, but for this I chose to show just the hair. No need for a shot of me looking like the devil considering that I work in politics.